Sunday, October 10, 2010
Crushed
I walk the road alone lost in my thoughts
Where will it lead, the beginning or the end?
I look up; the white clouds start to wander
Destination it knows not, my companion
Deserted footpath filled with withered leaves
Many a wounded heart stumbled upon
The stream flows, whispering words of comfort
However it trudges, it can never go back in time
The scented flower buds spread its fragrance
A day after, lifeless crushed onto the ground
I placed the crushed petals between my palms
I walked back, there was a thunder storm
Memories of the journey keeps flooding back
It will, till buried beneath the crushed flower.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Inevitable
INEVITABLE
I know it’s inevitable that you have to leave
Without you, somehow I should learn to live
How could I kill those memories you left behind
The moments buried under the sands of time
I am happy and I smile a thousand tears
I shout and you can t even hear a word
It hurts to know you can never be mine
And I should carry on as if all is fine
You well know All I want is to be with you
But you walk away from me bidding adieu
I try to move on but the thoughts keep flooding back
Of the times we spend holding each other’s hand
Time would change and time would heal
but can it ever mend the broken wings?
All I wish now is for you to be happy always
Unbroken promise, now we can part ways.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Celebrating the Downfall
Not many a time I would celebrate a downfall but I would now as what was supposed to be a gentlemen's game was refashioned into a lucrative investment avenue by a mercenary business man with the patronage of a some eminent personalities. Never had I thought that this game that had united the entire nation, the game that is every Indian's religion would asunder the emotions of the people who once cheered the very player whom he now lampoons.
If at all someone who has never played music all his life would become the maestro of an orchestra the resultant music would be a mess but I found it amusing when someone who had never played cricket in his life for that matter even "tennis ball street cricket' ( oongli cricket does not count) was credited with infusing life to the game and raising the bars to a new level. And I have to admit I was nonplussed at the speech when he claimed that he had realized his dream of having a league that the whole world envies. May be I have to say his dream is fulfilled for it filled the coffers of those who was expecting returns out of it.
And to recollect the past, IPL was devised to bury ICL form the centre stage (they say it is his brain child, I suppose plagiarizing is what they meant). In fact the Board was generous enough to ban those who played for ICL for ICL was not cricket and it did not make those administrators richer by a penny. I suppose the Haryana Hurricane should take a leaf out from him and should devise something that would bring mercenary gains rather than the upliftment of the game.
I have to celebrate IPL because it has turned cricket into an X box mode where all it matters is to bludgeon the white leather into the stands. The skill, technique, patience, endurance and class that made this game alluring had made way to might, aggression, power and madness. If there would be another IPL in this year, I am afraid that the turbanator would be nothing less of a bowling machine that fires in all the Yorkers, I suppose Zaheer would forget you can make the ball move either ways, Ishanth would forget the term “beaten". And to make things worse, Yuvraj would watch his cover drives only on highlights, Dhoni would qualify for American Baseball league, Suresh Raina would label all parts of the ground as mid wicket.
A special thanks him for we are able to see the axe effect even between the deliveries. I am overjoyed that IPL did not come up with the idea of airing advertisement after the bowler had release the ball and before it reaches the batsman. I guess if he had been there for few more months the broadcasting rights would be auctioned and a particular franchise has to make space for advertisement loge even on their jockeys. (I guess they can sport logos on the ball as well and so every time they show replays the impoverished league could earn some more bucks)
I am not as philanthropic as him but to overlook the positives. When you realize that the league donates a huge sum to NGO s at the end of every match you wonder whether that it is because that NGO was associated with one of the franchise's related party. And I place the stress on the term "huge sum" because what is being donated is more than half of what the league generates as revenue.
It’s true that many have become overnight stars but I doubt whether they can stay there even for a while. I ponder whether the master would have played with stitches in his hand if not for the pressure from the franchise owners. I question the way they accommodate the matches as every season there would be at least 10 cricketers who would miss national duty. I suppose the administrators abhorred the terms 'six' and 'catch' for they substituted them with more meaningful and much needed "maximum' and "kamal". (May this is what he meant by developing the game to new standards" Well done I must confess)
And I appreciate the fact that few cricketers have become non-residents because they want more income as the league pays them in meager 8 digit numbers. In spite of the entire shortcoming, the only negatives I could state are some of the players who never change with the developments of the game. Sachin would still play his leg glance and Rahul would be brave enough to play a copy book cover drive in the penultimate over yet branded unfit for the format of the game that requires you to sway your bat when the ball is bowled.
I must stop praising him for I am running out of words. Gone are the days when an Indian spinner’s dip and flight was described to that of the magician who has a rope tied to the ball and when the batsman was about to play, he pulls it back with the string. If one cannot enjoy the 350 ball century by Mark Richardson or the Marathon effort of Rahul or the mesmerizing reverse swing of Simon Jones or the seducing strokes of Mark Waugh or the match saving 10 hour grind of Gautam Gambhir they do not deserve to enjoy the class of the little master, the artistry of the great wall or the elegance of the Bengal tiger. All they deserve is the might and madness of the game which once encased fine intricasies. If I decide to not to be harsh I would say Test cricket was seducing, One day was romantic and T20 was in the middle.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Thank you for the day.
I took my steps, I wasn't sure
did she mean those words?
But soon after, I realized
It was a different world
She kept her vow, I wonder how;
indeed she was a free bird.
I was overjoyed, But to the world
It might seem absurd.
She came down with her usual bag
sporting the ever gorgeous black
zones of comfort to the scorching heat
with a smile I did greet
Hot, I thought to me; her or the sun?
besides me, we were on the run
‘Throttling through’ needs some fine art?
we reached, it was about to start.
I ve been there not once but twice
Even for the third it seemed so nice,
Every moment of his torture and blood
"Sensitive" I opined, tears she shed;
"Empty chairs" I said and the silver screen
At break we bought corn and coffee cream
We decided to count what we took between us
In the end we made a complete mess.
Sunshine again and I asked for a pretty click
Shy she felt but she demanded quick
"Fine" I said, But She thought otherwise
She offered again for a compromise
It led to the lake on the other side
Azure swirls, thrilled by the swift ride
She walked twice across the fountains nearby
She stood, the background clear blue sky
She badly wanted, the place of "All knowing"
above the city through the narrow lanes
The white marbles, made to feel like a thug
Enjoying the evening breeze through the windowpane
Lost Direction, Eventually reached the second home
The silver moon rose but the day did not end
The bride was yet to be seen, we went for the stars
Exclusively thrown out, center stage, I felt bizarre
The one before us was keen on the sizzling attraction
She commented and I believed to be a distraction
I could sense the atmosphere, pretense and intense
She was sure "I would enjoy the first experience"
Did I? I loved it. Was it her or the curvaceous women?
It was the unending conversations, every now and then
The clock was an hour away from striking twelve
Freeze, I wished, immersed in the sublime spell.
Plans but it ended up with pasta, milk and capsicum
Someday, Sometime, She wanted us to come home
The beauty of life, ambiguity, I ask “will it ever happen?”
No answers, I wish it would, again and again
Anything, anywhere, anytime, for her I owe
For her kind act and her pristine love
Thanks a lot,the dear would soon depart,
Thanking you from my heart, to me it means a lot.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
End of Days
Everything we do, from booking a movie ticket to buying a apartment largely depends on our hope, the hope that we would be alive tomorrow to enjoy what we amass today. Every time i am , may be i could take the liberty to say when we are at an exequy,we realize that we live on a hope so fragile and feeble that tomorrow shall always be indeterminate and vacillating.
We are occupied with thoughts that are mercenary and carnal and so are we concerned about the gains we would get in every actions of ours. In short we have become self centered and ego centric in our journey of life where the ultimate end is to be opulent. We are accustomed to being mundane and in doing so we miss the essence of life. We know the difference between existence and living but have we had the courage to impugn our own self?
We shall take a hypothetical situation but one, that each of us would eventually confront, the coward with scream,the weak with fear, the mean with regret but very few with smile and sense of contentment. If today would be your last day of your stay on this planet what would you want to do?.
We would elect to fulfill our extravagant and exorbitant desires, owning a luxury cruise, build a magnificent home and if your ambitions are lofty you would like to land on the moon, be the president or whatever you always yearned for. It would be appropriate to say we would want to live our insatiable cravings which would differ with each person's state of living and precept.
Though our initial yearnings would be to satiate our unfulfilled dreams we would gradually realize our happiness lies in the casual day to day activities which for otherwise we would have overlooked. We would appreciate the fact that happiness lies in every little act of ours that would make others happy. A heartening smile that would brighten up someone's day, a warm hug that would lift someone's spirit, a compliment from your heart, and such little acts would make other happy and in turn you would realize true happiness lies in making others happy. There is no greater joy than giving but the greatest joy is in giving with a smile.
If this day would be the last, we would find every chance to express our love, won't we? Will we have the heart to hate someone or hold malice ? Will we not forgive someone if we know we wont be here tomorrow. Will we have time to speak ill or get angry on someone if we won't be here to see them again ?Will we ever brawl over trivial things ? Will we hurt others with our words, will we lie or will we find time to cry? I guess our answer to all the above would be negative because we would want to listen to our heart and the live the way we always wanted but we never had the courage to.
We would want to spend our last day with our loved ones, hug our mum, let our kindred know what they mean to us. We would want to get wet in the rain, walk down the woods or read our favorite book sipping a cup of coffee. We would want to watch the TV show we enjoy the most, listen to our favorite set of songs on the i pod. We would like to go out with our friends to the usual hangout place, return back home late, the typical scolding from your mum that ends up with " i am yet to have my dinner, was waiting for you". The list would go on and on i bet there will not anything extravagant or flimsy but would consists of things you always loved to do and did when you were a child and things you forgot to enjoy as you adopted to your busy lifestyle of an adult. Its not late even now for you can vow to live a day every month to your heart's desire as if its your last day. So you ll never regret when the actual last day comes.
Now think for a moment. Do you want regret during your last days. Its not how much money you earned during your life time or how many homes you bought that matters. At the end it all comes to how many people's life you touched, how many would miss you, how many would remember you long after you are gone. The world should not be happy that you are gone. If at all there would be someone who would remember you with a tear on their cheeks just because you made their life better you can boast you had lived your life. At the end of your day, what matters is not what you are but how you made others to feel what they are when they were with you. Live and just not exist.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Its a small world
Its true that you can never love someone if you are to judge them. But we do judge people most of the times or we continue to cogitate their actions all the time.In other words we cant love if we judge but we tend to judge till we love someone. Even after, you do not stop judging your loved ones but you decide to overlook their flaws.
I suppose judgment is the result of reasoning of the mind and the precepts it holds on to.If we label someone as "nice person" then he or she must be a nice person to everyone around him/her. But in most cases this is not the case for a person who might be nice to you might not be nice to others.
We tend to judge with how the other person is with us. I guess this is where the basic flaw lies for someone who is nice to us but mean to others in not a nice person. If we were understand the fact that a person is nice to us because he made an effort to be nice. Otherwise he s acting nice to us and not to the whole world. Never should we gauge someone with their towering accomplishments but how they go about doing their simple and routine tasks.
A person's niceness would be revealed on how he/she treats someone who can do nothing for him/her. It would be your duty to help someone you know and if you help a stranger it shows your generosity. The quality of being nice has become a rarity with self gaining more prominence. Not only the quality of mercy but even the quality of niceness is not stain'd. It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven.
Monday, February 15, 2010
As you Like it - Beautiful
Sometimes i ask myself " Am i liking it ?"
But i have to confess i have no choice. Even if i had the luxury i am not sure i would have favored something better for it isn't just good but positively copacetic. May be the reason why I am yet to find the firmness to elude the perplexity that surrounds me.
I have been accustomed to speak out my heart in every circumstance and i wish i could when it comes to this but i am not sure as to what would be congruous whether to speak out or to be passive for in either case the ball would be in my court at the end of the day.
Many a times i feel i should make the initiative but for the fear of ridiculing myself if it happened to be delusive. What makes it more eerie is the fact that i am aware that it knows that i know of its affinity and my despondence. If i choose to let things happen and i decide to wait and watch i have to admit that with every passing moment i tend to contradict my own precept.
I know the end at the beginning but i yearn to change the end before i come to it.But if i prefer my own beatitude i would end up excruciating my kindred.I am taking a stance that is betwixt and between both ends for which i have none to blame but me. I do not wish to build castles in the air nor do i wish to deprive myself of the happiness or mirth that i deserve.
I have decided to take things as it comes and not to ponder over futurity. I want this to be a memory which i would look back and rejoice rather than to regret. As i write this i am clear that things are better this way and i do not intend to complicate issues.
I ask myself " why is that i have the freedom to choose everything but not the one that would give me everything" Sometimes i ask myself " Am i liking it ?" And i have to say I am loving it.
Ambivalence
Love and Hate, they both deceptively seem to be antonyms but they are not as one can never exist without the other. I have asked this question to many " What is the difference between love and hate ? but i have never been satisfied with the answer.
I find it hard to understand when someone says " I hate you"to the person they loved till then. It makes me wonder whether they meant when they said they love the other person for i fail to comprehend how can one hate the person they loved once. I have to be rational in making the judgment for love and hate are two emotions that can rule the human mind or ruin the tender heart.
If time sequence is what would gain superiority then i have to accept whatever has happened after most would hold good for only it matters in the present. If that's the case then neither love nor hate should be influenced by past events and it seems utterly illogical to come to such conclusion for human mind portrays past into the future in all its thoughts. May be i would say experience is all about projecting your past events into the future and deducing the right course of action in the present.
Another argument i would put forward is that prejudice plays a significant role whether consciously or unconsciously in determining the course of action,be it love or hate. If so then what would one mean when they say " I love you the most or i hate you " as these are not the reflections of your heart but your thoughts. If love and hate is the product of the mind they how can one mean them when they express.
I am amused when people associate hurt to love and hate. If hurt can be correlated to both love and hate how can they both be two different emotions? The more rational you become you would find they are nothing but illusions of time which would fade with time. What i mean is that you would love or hate someone today and it would change with time. Time is what keeps everything from happening at once and love and hate are mirages you would come across in the journey through time. I have come to the conclusion that where there is love there is hate and vice versa or in one word AMBIVALENCE.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Translation of Ninaithu Ninaithu Parthaen
The literal translations are in red. And I have explained the meaning of the song in the context of this song and situation. Just to give you an overview, the heroine has died and the hero sings this song as he cannot accept that she has died.
Ninaithu Ninaithu Paarthaen
Ninaithu= thought Ninaithu = thought Paarthaen= saw
I thought about you.
He says “ I thought about you. I thought only about you. Now, after you had gone, I look back on the times when I was thinking only about you.”
Nerungi Vilagi Nadandhaen
Nerungi= close, Vilagi = far,Nadandhaen= walk. I walked closely and far away.
I am close to you with my thoughts but I am very far away from you physically. Since she is in heaven and he is in earth. He says you are in my heart and it’s so close to me but you are far away from me in person. This kind of sentence where opposite meaning are expressed in the same line is called Oxymoron. ( A figure of speech)
Unnaal Dhaanae Naanae Vaazhgiraen Oh
Unnaal Dhaanae= Because of you , Naanae = Myself,Vaazhgiraen = living,Oh. I am living because of you.
I am thinking of you all the time. You are close to me, yet far from me. But the reason I am living is because of you. and your memories that you gave me before you left.
Unnil Indru Ennai Paarkkiraen
Unnil = In you, Indru= today, Ennai= me Paarkkiraen= seeing. I am seeing myself in you.
I am seeing myself in you means whatever I am today is because of you. Now when I am here you are not here. I gave everything I had to you that what I see in you is a reflection of myself.
Eduthu Padithu Mudikkum Munnae Eriyum Kadidham Edharku Pennae
Eduthu= take Padithu = read,Mudikkum = finish,Munnae= before, Eriyum= burn, throw Kadidham = letter,Edharku = why?Pennae= girl Hey my dear girl ? Why this letter that is getting burnt before you read or why you throw away the letter before you read.
Erium has two meanings ( to burn, to throw)in Tamil depending upon the context but here both meaning fits. He says why is that the letter I gave you is getting burnt before you could read it or why you threw away the letter before you read. He means to say why his wishes are not fulfilled? Is it fate or is it what she wishes ?
Unnaal Dhaanae Naanae Vaazhgiraen
Oh Unnil Indru Ennai Paarkkiraen
Amarndhu Paesum Marangalin Nizhalum ,Unnai Kaetkum Eppadi Solvaen, Udhirndhu Poana Malarin Mounama
Amarndhu= sit, Paesum = talk,Marangalin= tree’s Nizhalum= shadow ,Unnai= you, Kaetkum =ask,Eppadi= How, Solvaen= say. Udhirndhu = withered,Poana= past, Malarin= flower Mounama= silence?
The shadows of the tree where we used to sit and speak will ask about you. What will I say ? should I keep quiet like the withered leaves?
He says ‘Do you remember we sat and spoke for hours and hours under the tree Now when I go there it asks me a question which I can t answer except with silence “ Why have you come alone ? Where is she? What will I tell to it ? I have to stay silent like the flower that got withered from its branch. He means to say the flower that got withered from the branch and he are same cuz the withered flower will die soon and so will he without her.
Thoodhu Paesum Kolusin Oliyai Araigal Kaetkum Eppadi Solvaen Udaindhu Poana Valaiyal Paesuma
Thoodhu = messenger,Paesum= talk, Kolusin= Anklet, Oliyai = sound,light, Araigal= room, Kaetkum =ask,Eppadi = how,Solvaen= tell, Udaindhu= Broken, Poana= gone, Valaiyal= bangle Paesuma= talk?
The sound of your anklets which spoke instead of you is missing. The walls of the room will ask me “ Where is the sound of the anklets? What will I answer? Will broken bangles ever jingle?
When will the anklet make sound? Only when the person walks or jumps. It is inferred when he was with her she was always happy and playful and jumping around that her anklet made so much melody. Now that she is gone, the walls that are used to her anklet’s jingle is asking him “Where is she? Where is the anklet’s jingle?” he’ s asking her “ how will I ever answer that question” Now, My answer would be the answer to this question “ Will every the broken bangles jingle? When a bangle is broken it’s of no use. It is implied that without her he is like the broken bangles.
Ullangaiyial Veppam Saerkkum Viralgal Indru Engae?
Ullangaiyial = palms, Veppam=warmth, Saerkkum= give, Viralgal = fingers,Indru= today Engae=where?
Those fingers which would give warmth to my hands, Where are they now?
In this context, he asks himself “ Where are the fingers that would add warmth to my hands”? why is it gone missing now ? it is implied that he has to walk alone from now as all these days she was there to hold his hand in his life’s journey.
Thoalil Saayndhu Kadhaigal PaesaMugamum Illai Ingae
Thoalil = shoulders,Saayndhu = rest,Kadhaigal= stories, Paesa= to speak,Mugamum=face, Illai = no,Ingae=here
Where is the face that used to rest on my shoulders when I share my thoughts?
He says “If you are not here i don have anyone. There will be no one who would listen to me. He is asking himself “Where is your face that was there on my shoulders listening eagerly to all my stories?”
Now I know its not there to whom I will share my thoughts.
Mudhal Kanavu Mudinthidum MunnamaeThookkam Kalaindhadhey
Mudhal= First, Kanavu = Dream,Mudinthidum = end,Munnamae= before,Thookkam =sleep,Kalaindhadhey= was spoiled, disturbed.
Before my first dream would come to an end, why my sleep got disturbed ?
Before my first dream ended, why was my sleep disturbed? First dream refers to his first love. He says before he could have her in his life she left him. Why is this happening to him? Who should he blame if he got up from his sleep before his dream got over?
Ninaithu Ninaithu Paarthaen
Nerungi Vilagi Nadandhaen
Unnaal Dhaanae Naanae Vaazhgiraen Oh
Paesi Poana Vaarthaigal Ellaam Kaalam Dhoarum Kaadhinil Kaetkum Saambal Karaiyum Vaarthai Karaiyuma?
Paesi Poana = spoken ,Vaarthaigal= words, Ellaam= all, Kaalam = life time,Dhoarum = till,Kaadhinil = in ears,Kaetkum = hear,Saambal = ashes,Karaiyum = dissolve,Vaarthai= words, Karaiyuma= will dissolve?
The words you spoke to me and went will ring in my ears till I die. I know ashes will melt but will words also do?
He says “All the words you ever spoke to me when we were together is still afresh and anew, Its ringing in my ears even after you have left me. Why is it so? I wish I could forget whatever you said. She had told him she would be with him forever. Now that she is not there he remembers those words of her. He wishes he could forget it. But he knows even our human ashes will melt but not the words of our loved ones which stays etched in our hearts for our lifetime.
Paarthu Poana Paarvaigal Ellaam Pagalum Iravum Kaelvigal Kaetkum Uyirum Poagum Uruvam Poaguma?
Paarthu= saw Poana= gone, Paarvaigal= stare, looks Ellaam= all, Pagalum = daytime,Iravum = night,Kaelvigal= questins, Kaetkum= ask, Uyiru= life, Pogum= go Uruvam = shape, appeareance Poaguma= wil it go?
The stares and the looks you gave me are still alive after you had gone. Its asking me questions twice a day. Only at day time and night time. I could still remember your eyes looking deeply into me as if it told me you ll leave me which I failed to understand at that time. Now those looks comes back to kill me. Life will go out of the body but will the appearance of the body can ever be forgotten? It means her body is buried in the sand and now it has lost its traces. But still in his heart and thoughts he could see her though she is no more.
Thodarndhu Vandha Nizhalgal Ingae Theeyil Saerndhu Poagum
Thodarndhu= following, Vandha= came, Nizhalum= shadow, Ingae= here Theeyil = In fire,Saerndhu = join,Poagum= go.
My shadow that followed me will get burnt ashes in the fire.
After you deserted me, even my shadow deserts me and gets burnt to ashes in the fire. He means to say she was like his shadow with him everywhere.
Thiruttu Poana Thadayam Paarthum Nambavillai Naanum
Thiruttu = theft,Poana= gone, Thadayam= clue, witness, Paarthum = seeing,Nambavillai = did not believe,Naanum= myself.
Even after seeing for myself that theft had taken place I did not believe that it actually took place
There is all evidence that theft had taken place. But still I refuse to believe that it had taken palce. Even after that I believe its still there. Its not stolen. He says “ Even after you died, I refuse to believe it. I know you died but I don t want to believe.
Oru Tharunam Edhirinil Thoandruvaay Endrae Vaazhgiraen Naanum....
Oru = one,Tharunam = moment, Edhirinil= before, in front, Thoandruvaay= will appear, Endrae = so o only,Vaazhgiraen= living, Naanum= myself....
I am living that some moment you ll appear before me.
This is the best line. I like this the most.
He says Do you know why I am still living in this earth even after you had gone. I am living with a hope that you ll appear in front of me some moment, some day. I wish you ll come in front of my eyes and make what I thought to be right that you have not died.